Goddess Trials Read online

  Goddess Trials

  The Demi Chronicles

  A. Lonergan

  Copyright © 2018 by A. Lonergan

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  Created with Vellum

  To my readers, without you, this would be nothing.

  Prologue

  Artemis

  “You don’t understand, Artemis, you can’t meddle!” Shaskia threw her arms in the air. “Stop trying to go see her.”

  I paced in front of the daughter of Athena, agitated. She was wise, but sometimes she put herself where she didn’t belong. More times than not, Shaskia meddled. She had no place to tell me that.

  Athena had given me her daughter when mine had been taken from me by Apollo, a daughter to raise, to make the pain lessen. It hadn’t helped as much as I had wanted but as I looked at the woman, I saw a part of myself. She had been one of my greatest treasures, one of the greatest gifts and, I had only thrown her away when it came to my line. My girls had blinded me for entirely too long, and I felt terrible for it. I knew Shaskia understood though she didn’t have her own children.

  I had pushed for her to be the best she could be but she didn’t want the same things. She had been trained to be a military genius, and she threw it all away. She threw it all away for a man that didn’t love her. He had used and manipulated her. He had given her promises of a family and affection, just to turn around and try to slaughter the valley. He had been the first of Apollo’s men to infiltrate what I had worked so hard for.

  After that, I never saw her love anything again. I never saw her try to love anything but knowledge. She thought that if she had known more, she would have been able to prevent what happened. She would’ve been able to see the liar he was. She threw herself into battle training once more and got herself up to date with all the changing technologies.

  I looked down on the valley and wanted to cry. I couldn’t believe I was having this conversation again. Shaskia glanced to me with pity before trying to change the conversation.

  “Have you heard from my mother lately?” She asked, hesitantly. We didn’t usually talk about her mother, but I knew she was trying to deflect from my pain.

  “No, last I heard she was hanging out in the galleries in Europe, strategizing for the Russians. I don’t know, a covert mission.”

  Shaskia didn’t say anything and eventually left me to my thoughts. I watched her interact with the new families settling in and the smile that lit up her face. She lived through them. She didn’t know what she was missing, and I wished that I could have changed it all for her.

  Another one of my descendants had lost to my malicious brother. I appeared to her in her final moments and held her trembling hands in mine as she faded to the underworld. I had hoped that she would have been the one to win it all. That her family would win this round and so would I. But no such luck. We had lost again, and this time, there was no one left to take the torch, and I was almost relieved. No more death, no more heartbreak and hopefully the end would come too. I wouldn’t have to watch from afar and cry in secret over them. Each face etched into my memory.

  Until I heard the soft crying. The crying of a baby.

  A newborn baby.

  But there was no way it could be. I had watched this one like a hawk. I would have known it if she had lain with a man. But there, in between the dying woman’s legs was a new babe. Her bright eyes already too alert and ready for the treacherous world.

  Apollo’s men had killed one of my young children while in childbirth and here were the fruits of her labors, laying on the tall, bright grass.

  It had been an eternity since I had held a child, much less a newborn. I wasn’t so sure I knew what to do with her. Her eyes watched me intently, and I knew she was going to do great things. I saw it in her bright eyes that if it weren’t her that was going to change everything, it would be her daughter.

  I scooped the wiggling child into my arms and shed a tear for the descendant laying at my feet. I wondered for a brief moment if she would feel pain over missing her child’s life like I did.

  I knew there were eyes everywhere and Apollo thought he won, but his men would be back for the body, soon enough. I ran through the woods at speeds I didn’t know I was capable of anymore. Too afraid to use magic to get the baby to where she needed to be.

  I let out a silent plea for help and waited at the base of the mountain. A woman with white hair appeared immediately and made me spare no time. Her lavender eyes were curious as I unwrapped my cloak to reveal the sleeping infant.

  Her eyes held fear and uncertainty. “Please, Shaskia, her mother is gone.”

  Shaskia shook her head at me. “She is one of them. One of your descendants.” She shook her head again. “You know the rules. She cannot be here. What did I tell you about meddling?”

  “She will die. She will die alone. She will die with me. I have never asked you favors, but I have given you so much. I tried my hardest to give you a child of your own. It wasn’t my fault what happened” I looked at the jagged mountains. Gods didn’t beg, but I didn’t have much to offer. If I were found with the child, I would have to give my life, as well as the child's.

  When I looked back to Shaskia, tears shone in her eyes. “Is she the one?”

  As I handed the baby over, I knew. “No, it will be her daughter.”

  Chapter 1

  Jessa

  It had taken him a few days to warm back up to me and the rest of the living. We hadn’t even considered going to the Valley just yet. After the war on Apollo’s prison and Keenan’s death, Crawley couldn’t face his mother. His face would show nothing but panic when I would mention it. I doubted the valley would wait any longer for us.

  Crawley paced the floor in front of me. His brows were furrowed and his posture rigid. He raked his fingers through his hair and sighed then he shook his head and started pacing again. At the rate he was going, he was going to wear a hole in the rug.

  Ever since Crawley had thrown me over his shoulder caveman style and dragged me back to the cabin, we hadn’t left. I didn’t mind it for the most part, but I was worried about Shaskia and the rest of the people in the valley. They needed to mourn Keenan’s death and celebrate his life, as Crawley had mentioned before he had thrown us through the portal.

  When we had made it back through, I had more than expected the fridge to have been empty but it was stocked full of fresh fruits and veggies. I had whipped up some quick meals and tried to force feed the beast brooding at me. He had been mostly silent, but I didn’t expect much more. I had always wanted siblings and knew it would have ripped me apart to have them torn from my life.

  Crawley also hadn’t left my side. He had slept on the floor in my bedroom and even tried to follow me into the bathroom on the first night. I had put my foot down there, shocked he had even thought of it. But not too shocked. Things had gotten pretty heated between us the night of the festival in the Centaur’s village. If I thought about it enough, I could still taste the wine on my lips from his mouth.

  I shook the thoughts away, knowing they would do me no good. We had too much to focus on, and I couldn’t let my wants get in the way of what was important. His family needed him more than I did.

  I unfolded myself from the couch and grabbed his arms to plant him in place. It was the first time I had touched him since he had gone caveman on me. He had worked himself up so much that he was panting.

  “We need to go. You have to be there for your mother.” Crawley wouldn’t look me in the eye as I spoke. He knew what he
needed to do and he was too hard-headed about it. He clenched his jaw.

  “If I had told him to go back... this wouldn’t have happened.” He snarled.

  I could hardly believe the words that left my mouth. “If Keenan had gone back, it would be me you would be burying and all this would be gone and done with.”

  His face crumbled. “That’s what makes me the terrible person.” He threw himself down on the rug as I began to pace this time.

  “You are not a terrible person! Why would you say that!” I threw my hands in the air as he buried his face in his hands.

  “Because...” He looked up at me with defeated eyes. “Because if it had been you, I would have followed you to the underworld. I wouldn’t have handled it this well. I would have done anything in my power and Shaskia’s to bring you back. I would have rounded up every sorcerer and healer on this side of the map and would have given my soul for you to be here with me.”

  I stared at him shocked. I couldn’t even form a reply, but I knew I needed to walk away. That there was nothing I could say to make any of this better or easier. Just as I was turning, my foot wrapped in the rug and I crashed into Crawley. Gone was the burden he had been carrying, replacing it with a look of hope and guilt. He brushed a strand of my hair behind my ear and leaned in close.

  Just as I could feel his breath on mine, a blinding light flashed along the back wall of the cabin, and Cristoff’s voice echoed around us. “Thanks for leaving me when I asked for a favor, Crawley.” His footsteps pounded on the hardwood floors as he approached us still tangled up on the floor. “Rude.”

  I pressed my forehead against Crawley's shoulder and inhaled deeply. Crawley was quick to answer him, “What’s rude is your timing.”

  When I looked up, he was shaking his head. “No, no, you’re supposed to be mourning, not playing hanky-panky. Hmm.” He gave us an exasperated look before turning quickly and heading toward the kitchen.

  I couldn’t help but laugh. Cristoff would be Cristoff, and I couldn’t complain about the transition he had had since his Voodoo in the centaur village. He would never be a merman again, and I didn’t know if I had caused his sorcerer side to leave as well but I doubted it, seeing as he got into our cabin like it was no big deal.

  Thanks, Hecate.

  At that thought, I wondered if Keenan’s death had changed the magic on the cabin. I scrambled to my feet, away from Crawley and ran to the kitchen.

  “How hard was it for you to come through the portal to the cabin?” I brushed my hair out of my face.

  “Since I have never been here before, pretty damn hard but! I focused on your energy and Crawleys, and after that, it was a little easier besides the electric zaps that came through me as I passed through the door and before you acknowledged me.” He shook his body down in disgust. “You guys should really get that fixed, could have killed me!”

  I let out a sigh of relief. I wished I understood this house and wanted that Keenan had told me more of it. Then an idea struck my mind. I rushed to the office in the hall, and it opened without hesitation but what I saw on the bed had me in tears. There were several envelopes spread out. Each of our names was scrawled out on the white paper.

  Crawley

  Jessa

  Mira

  No one had told me their mother’s name, but I had no doubt that it was Mira. I scooped up the letters, no longer worried about the cabin. It could wait, and I had a feeling Keenan had kept a journal about his discoveries

  When I left his office and made my way back to the kitchen, I noticed Cristoff was cooking and Crawley was watching him with curious eyes. He sat at the bar and watched all of his movements. I laid the letters out in front of him on the counter. His brows rose, and he snatched up his envelope and disappeared from the room. The only note that was left was mine.

  I gave Cristoff a tentative smile and fled from the kitchen as well. I traveled quickly up the stairs, and as much as I had expected Crawley to be in my room, he wasn’t. He had fled in the same direction, and I couldn’t imagine where else he would have gone. The bedroom he had been sleeping in before had the door open. The only place left was the nursery and Keenan’s room. I gulped and closed the door behind me.

  I carefully tore the envelope open and sunk to the floor. I folded my legs underneath me and took a deep breath. I unfolded the letter and wrapped it back up. I didn’t know if I was ready to read it just yet. I leaned my head against the wall and tried to hold the tears in that were welling up in my eyes.

  I heard something crash in the room next to mine and flinched. The tears I had been holding back spilled forward. A roar of pain and turmoil vibrated the walls, and I curled into myself. The pain echoed through me in a new way. The pain Crawley was experiencing hurt my soul, but it helped me feel a sense of relief. He needed to let it out. Bottling the pain up wouldn’t help him, wouldn’t help us move forward and wouldn’t help when he needed to face his mother.

  The movement stopped in Keenan’s room, and with that, I was finally able to read the letter laying on my lap.

  Jessa,

  Well, I guess if you’re reading this, Apollo has finally taken my life. I have written these letters every single time we have left, knowing that my days were not promised and knowing that you need answers each time we return. There has also been a piece of me that has prayed for this moment. Prayed for the end to finally take me. Every time we have set out I have hoped to not return, and I guess by writing these letters, I feel like I have sealed my fate and I’m alright with this. I miss Chloe, and I know she was the love of my life. I loved you, but it was a different love. The Fates didn’t have you in my cards, no matter how much I could have wished for it. Crawley is going to need you. He is going to need you to pull his head out of his ass. He will push you away and be the snarky bastard he is but don’t let him stick by his side. The Fates have smiled on you both, together. The gods push you together not realizing they are doing The Fates business. Don’t drive him away because of the gods. Keep him closer because you never know what’s around the bend. When he realizes what he has in front of him, he will love you like you deserve to be loved. Don’t mourn me, don’t wallow in my death, no matter the way I go. Know that I am happy in the underworld with my family. Keep Crawley in line, he needs you.

  -Keenan

  P.S. The cabin is slightly temperamental. It’ll answer to your feelings and continuously adapt. This is now your home.

  My tears smeared the ink on the page as I tried to get it together. There was no use. I was sobbing now, and there was no going back. I pushed the paper away from me and tried my hardest to think the best, to not mourn him, but I couldn’t help it. There weren’t typically visiting hours in the underworld.

  Just as I was pulling myself together, Crawley opened the door. His clothes were ripped and barely hanging onto his body, that was damp with sweat. His chest was rising and falling rapidly and as hot as he was, there was too much emotion on his face for me to approach him.

  He was beside me in seconds and wrapped his arms around me. His body trembled as he held onto me for dear life. His voice was a raspy whisper when he began to speak, “It’s time.”

  “His words moved something inside of you, didn’t they?” I ran my fingers through the scruffy hair at the nape of his neck.

  “Something like that.”

  Chapter 2

  Crawley

  His words had changed my mind, there was no doubt about that. My chest hurt like my heart had been ripped out, but Keenan had been right in his letter. I didn’t need to mourn him, though my anger and tears said differently.

  I hadn’t realized how much I had needed his words, his goodbye and his want for death. It was probably the most depressing letter I had ever read and to know my own brother was suffering through that made it so much worse.

  I inhaled deeply taking in the faint smell of pine on Jessa’s skin. It was just barely there, but just enough to make me smile. She rubbed her hands up and down my back before I fe
lt like I could take on the world again. When I looked into her eyes, they were full of sadness. I had been selfishly focusing on myself and didn’t take into consideration that she was hurting too. I picked her hand up to mine and kissed her palm before I stood up and made my way out of the bedroom.

  I took the stairs two at a time feeling a new sense of purpose for the first time in days. Cristoff quickly tried to ruin that. “I thought I heard a crash up there, but this level of kinky is beyond me.” His hand went up and down in front of me as he chowed down on a sandwich with his other hand.

  “Bug off.” I rolled my eyes at him and pulled some fruit out of the fridge as he smirked at his cleverness.

  “Which bedroom is mine?” Cristoff said around a mouthful of sandwich.

  “None of them.”

  He choked. “But you said!”

  “I’m gonna find a place for you to stay, but it won’t be here.” I popped a grape into my mouth.

  “Oh, I see!” He waved his sandwich around like it was a trophy. “You want this place all to both of you.” He waggled his eyebrows at me.

  I threw a grape at him in reply, and it hit him between his eyes.

  “Bow-chicka-wow-wow!” When he started to thrust his hips I had enough. I flew off of the stool and wrapped my hands around his neck.

  Jessa cleared her throat from the stairs, and I dropped my hands. “We don’t need two murderers around here.”

  Cristoff gulped down the rest of his sandwich while observing Jessa. “Murder?”

  “You heard it right.” Jessa leaned against the wall, utterly content with his discomfort.

  “War doesn’t count.” He cocked his head like he had made a valid point.

  “I’m not talking about war.” She smirked at him. “I’m sure you’ve done things you aren’t proud of, and Gemma had it coming.”